This is an original “Radio Show” column that I presented back in 2002. I created several of these while the Internet was still evolving just to see how it would work. The song says “video killed the radio star,” but in this case the original presentation was killed by advanced browsers that automatically block pop-ups. The original concept, presented as a pop-up, is now embedded at the bottom of the page and you can still take a listen if you like. I also include the original headline from the days when they weren’t automatically generated. I like my creative efforts better, but the Internet marches on.
Huntsville Times — Friday February 22, 2002
T
hat opening line right after the headline indicating that Huntsville City Schools are inching ever closer to a full year round school calendar. Obviously, the perfunctorily liberal Huntsville Times wants to be sure to cloud the issue with the best possible candy for Mommy and Daddy that they can possibly offer.
Of course, Daddy probably really isn’t in the equation, and as the wayward march to illusory liberation, which genuinely is oppressive continues, daddy is less and less likely to be part of any family unit what-so-ever, with mommy fast on his heels.
Plan your vacation? Yea, that’s right, and when it gets condensed down to a college style quarterly schedule, you will also be liberated from that chore — of determining when to schedule your vacation, if your industrial boss will allow you to have one at all. Oh, you’ll have a choice alright. Pick one of two weeks, at one of four intervals, during the entire year, if you’re first in line. The two week summer interval will be the first option for most people, so be prepared to accept one of the other three choices if your employment peers happen to have seniority. Then you might get the two week fall interval, which will provide questionable weather in many cases, and a pocket book that may already be strained in anticipation of Christmas. Oh, well, you really didn’t want to go anywhere anyway. Choice three, dead of winter, learn to snow ski, still paying bills from Christmas, didn’t really want to go anywhere anyway. Spring fling, maybe — unless the monsoon starts and then you can sit indoors at your hotel room country cabin with the window curtains drawn, and pretend it’s somehow different than your humble abode back home — you shouldn’t really have done that anyway.
Where is Daddy? Well, Mommies don’t need daddies anymore. Nowadays, Mommies are liberated, and get to work, and can even make babies from a test-tube. Some have a big job, but most don’t, so thank God the school system finally realized they need to offer year round day care for exploited laborers who can’t afford to raise their own children. The industrial bosses like this equation. They control the money that rightfully belongs to the worker, and get the cheapest slave level labor from as much of the population as possible.
They don’t want no Mommies choosing to stay home, while breadwinner Daddy makes a living wage to support his family. First off, that would cause the labor force to dwindle, thereby allowing the free market principle of supply and demand to enhance the value of wages for them that do work. Second, as long as the public school system is in charge, that means that Big Brother is in charge, and that means the agenda that is dispensed can be controlled to ensure that no snot nosed kids grow up thinking they have a right to independence, and a fair living wage.
Them that’s been conditioned by Pavlovian Gods from the time they are old enough to be dropped off at the Huntsville City Daycare, to accept the authority of the owners without question or dissent, will be much less likely to expect anything more. No more interference from the ideas of Mommies and Daddies. Once the cycle sets in, the new generation of burger flippers will be the progenitors of the next, who will come along much more easily since the dialect of freedom, rights, and independence will be much less prevalent in the process of their culturing.
Furthermore. Not only will the process of conditioning ensure that the new generation of worker drones knows exactly what is expected of them and no more, it will also take care to see that they don’t know what they’re NOT doing. No free time in the summer. No time to explore the creek and find out about crawdads. No time to just sit by the pool on a lazy summer day and ponder the wonders of the universe like Socrates. No need for anyone to BE a philosopher. They can learn about philosophy from a book, that’s all there is to it anyway — isn’t it? There won’t be time to BE a philosopher anymore, not by the time “summer vacation” is whittled down to two weeks, every minute is way too precious to be spent in idle thinking.
There won’t be any “lazy days” of summer anymore. Lemonade will never taste quite as good. No more summer camp, at least not unless you are amoung the precious few who are able to demand their reservation. Not nearly as many youngsters are going to the camp in the woods during the two week interval as could go during a full thirteen week summer break. And no kid is gonna wonder off into the woods out back too often either. They can look at birds, and snakes, and turtles, and cattails, and the moss on the trees, in the encyclopedia, that’s good enough. Huntsville City Schools kids will be well conditioned, and will never miss what they never knew. No more snot nosed independent thinking kids around this neck of the concentration camp.
Yea, you deadbeat tramp, go ahead — pencil in your October vacation, Huntsville City Schools and the Huntsville Times says your gonna get your year round city sponsored daycare.
