Living in Alabama never ceases to be amazing. While I live in Huntsville in north Alabama, I am a native, not a northern transplant as sometimes intoned by my good neighbors to the south. In other words, I am bonafide qualified to offer critiques of what is beginning to look more like a cheese cake walk than a legitimate political contest. Oh, I admit, I might have more credibility iffen I throw in some colloquialisms and colorful metaphors and just a slight twang of mint twist from my iced tea.
Most of the hoot’n and holler’n in this election thus far comes from the incumbent and leading candidate, Kay Ivey. Ivey? I reckon that might ought to be Kay “Slimey” and I reckon it ain’t really ok neither. She ain’t growin’ none on me, more like sliding and slippery’n on down the slope, to my way of thinking.
Ms. Ivey claims to have “cleaned up the mess” since she took office by the good sacrificial graces of deposed governor Robert Bently. He said of his mistress as recorded on a seemingly unseen microphone something about “holding her breasts” in a tone that would suggest his verbage was the only thing stiff in that room. Am I suggesting he deliberately contrived his own downfall as a means to propel Ms. Ivey to the forefront of the “me too” movement? I reckon I am. Well, fairly enough, you can’t exactly blame Ms. Ivey for the gift of affirmative action. But, it’s not really a kosher way to entrench yourself for the next political election either. In truth, she is actually a part of the mess she claims to have cleaned up.
I’m also in the camp of this ain’t 1850 no more and the war between the states is done over and confederate monuments are mostly about marking territory and not really about education or recognizing our less than illustrious past. Don’t destroy them, but put them in appropriate places – not like guarding the entrance to the courthouse. Oh, yeah. There’s that bonafide qualified thing again. My folks came from the old country and landed in Alabama around 1830. I haven’t completely researched the family tree, so I don’t know if anyone was a hero or an officer, but I do know that there is at least one close relative who did ascend from Frog Mountain that did fight in the “war of northern aggression.” An honorable family member who honorably defended his duty. The thing is, Kay Ivey’s defense of Confederate monuments sounds an awful lot like Roy Moore to me. (That there is where the “more” as in “more corruption” comes from in the title of this column.)
And, I ain’t none too impressed with Ms. Ivey’s vitriolic man bashing rhetoric. Her crude references to “mountain oysters” is an obvious allusion to male castration. Is that her answer for the “me too” crowd? Hay, we fellas ain’t all perfect, but we ain’t all Harvey Wienstien neither. Is this kind of blanket generalization about men really ok? No, it isn’t. More and more, Ms. Ivey really begins to look like a female version of Roy Moore. Is that really good for Alabama? I don’t think so.
All these problems with Ms. Ivey definitely do add up – to the same stupidity that Alabamians always seem to fall back on when electing a public officials. She’s got all the amenanies; she’s a veritable shoe in by Alabama standards. In fairness, I have to let both myself as a bonafide qualified Alabamian and the rest of the Alabama brethren off the hook. The republican field of candy-dates looks like mostly castrated businessmen and clergy members who know how to sell a candy-bar but not how to run government. Other words, they ain’t gonna win. Similar problem with the spineless say nothings do nothings on the democratic side of the “contest.” The almost all female candy stripers look more like Ms. Ivey’s cheer leading escorts than actual candidates themselves.
Where we end up is yet another dog and pony show election that’s basically orchestrated to keep people entertained while important issues go unanswered or unaddressed. The Alabama legislature is notorious for passing pseudo-jihadist legislation, apparently in honor of “Ala,” that is brazenly unconstitutional and apparently some delusional assertion of Confederate autonomy. The recent inability to reform obviously unconstitutional civil forfeiture laws is the perfect case in point. (Shhhh… hear that? it’s Kay Ivey not saying nothin’…) It boils down to corruption for the sake of corruption that continues to perpetuate what is in many ways still a plantation system.
It’s a terrible shame that our state, and indeed our nation, is suffering from so much corruption. It’s little wonder that people are disenfranchised with government, and unfortunately many are seeking candidates that do no reflect the better aspects of our great nation. The results of the greed and corruption that Kay Ivey and the others gloss over is exactly what is already resulting in what amounts to, once again, the “fall of Rome.”
I have received some interest in reinvigorating my Campaign website to run as an independent Write-in. As of now, I don’t plan to do that until after the primaries. If nothing more we the people of Alabama need a candidate where we can cast a protest vote. Stay tuned.
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© 2018 – Jim Casey
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